Naina Agarwal

Of lonely eyes, and blatant woes. Eerie calm and eager souls Moonless skies and dusty lanes Of blinding cafes, bare shoulders; Beer bottles, and bitter names. Of overt eyes and earnest way, "I’m the eagle, I’m the prey." Cold flats and callous walls Of animal spirits, lifted veils; Desperate sighs, and devious calls. Of urgent eyes and whiskey breaths Zealous sessions and sweltering backs Fingertips and fervent wills Of stellar skies, sumptuous sighs; Seven hells and seven ills. Of droopy eyes and circles dark Cigarette butts and coffee jars. Tasteless tacit, and terse talks Of grey skies, good-byes; Dismal drags, and dreary dawns. ***

Haiku #1 A part of me builds, And a part of me destroys; This is my nature. Haiku #2 The shore never wanders but remains fixed. Wanting. Waiting. Be someone's shore. Haiku #3 Everybody looked at her, except for the dog that had different parameters of beauty. Haiku #4 Sun extinguishes. Sky splits. Moon eats itself when you lay eyes on me Haiku #5 The real me. Raw me. Unafraid, unmasked, vulnerable me Exists in pages I've lost. Haiku #6 You and I, darling Are the two shores of a river, Destined to hold bridges. Haiku #7 The thing that remains is to find you in reality; I meet you in dreams. ***

Jo had a cat The cat was named Lil It purred all day And died inside the bin. He sobbed all day When his cat was killed Jo ate no food His eyes tear-filled. When asked for the reason How his cat was killed? Jo turned solemn Eyes still tear-filled. He thought for a while What the reason could be? The cat purred all day Could that the reason be? But that's what cats do! They purr all day And so to solve the mystery He employed Mr. Kay. Mr. Kay took Lil And put it in his lab He examined its body Rested on the slab. He came up with a theory; A theory that Jo's Lil Might have eaten a rat That had consumed a Pill. Jo was satisfied; He was kinda impressed. Mr. Kay proudly smiled, And gifted him another cat. ***

मृदु भावों से लिहसि पुती, अक्षर रस अंकित संवाद, अवसाद, अभिव्यंजना से लैस, एक तरफ रखी सिमटी कोने में, स्मृति-भर पर सार्थक मनोभाव है; तुम्हारी एक किताब मेरे पास है । ***

I read an article and scrolled further up, overlooking, denying its importance. Till it came back again and again, dressed in various costumes every time - dancing, mocking, ridiculing me; sneering at my privilege. It once spat on the ground when I insisted on tradition and casually chuckled at an enemy piece. Clearly I couldn't overlook anymore -  it had made allies in time. So I began by observing in silence studying, understanding - she/her ,  they/them ,  he/him "You cannot ignore me anymore -  I do not need your support I will rise in time I am rising now - To paint rainbows in the sky and on the ground." ***

I’ll meet you where it rains acid on the impotent fields across the exhausted canal. Where the walls are parched with debris, And air dusted with coal tar; Skyscrapers surrounded by diarrhoea. Where the sprung laden fountains in the increasing grotesque growing weed sprite Chlamydomonas and Cocci. We’ll tear, hitting, banging the china dish; Petrified mannequins; Plundered domes and scratched epitaphs- Naked body, armours of unicorns in the rosy markets, Cheeks sunken dry in the midnight solar lamps; Making love in front of an impaired bathroom lizard serenading in a cheap lodging. Banging coffee mugs. Lust. Pity. Self-hatred. Pity. Lust. Banging books. My fingers sore by talking to various men. And women. Staring at keyholes and guilty walls; Peeping through windowpane; towards a distant asterism. And speaking to self, alone in 13F, Community flats, Dystopia. ***

I don't like to think about you, when I am not alone. I have reserved you for my solitude. I don't like that I like to think about you. You are the darkness in my life - I need you to see the twinkle of stars, Lustre of diamond, Orange ember of coal, Golden glow of fire, Glitter of the sea, Citylights, streetlights, Fireflies and fireworks. But I need you at night: bare feet; Not when I am wearing my heels. ***

Scene-Still from Wake Up Sid (2009)   I will gradually forget you like a child erasing his pencil drawing. Tonight, I will rub your eyes; tomorrow the parting of your lips. A week later, I will remember nothing but your white shirt. And two months later, you will be nothing but a smudge; a faint outline caused by an inexperienced hand. ***

कल उसने एक रात ओढ़ी थी; चाँद को माथे पर लगाया था।  एक डिब्बी जुगनू लपेट; अंगुली भर तारे समेट; रात की रानी के साथ पिरो -  बालों में गजरा लगाया था।  कल कलाई पर कुछ क्यारियाँ,  एक कालीन हथेली पर  सजा कुछ तितलियों से और तर्जनी पर सूरज किरन; उसने चंदन इत्र उढ़ेल  आँचल पर गुलशन महकाया था।  उसने चंद्रमुख बेला पिरो लक्ष्य रस में डुबो कर,  कल एक पाँव में बाँध  और दूसरे में खरी चांदनी,  मनभावन मृग चाल से बीहड़ में सरगम खनकाया था।  ***

Fancy. Classy. Maiden. Angel. Princess. Dame.  These are not the words that describe me-  Darling,  I am Free. Wild. Untamed.  I am rash, uncouth and dope  I am tiger with twenty-two horns.  I am sweat on farmer's axe,  I am clumsy; I make mistakes.  I am human; I have faults.  I err, and therefore, I am.  ***

Yellow butterfly in black ice  Searching for the nectar Mosses and lichen  And the undergrowth of nothing  Yellow butterfly went past all Then came across an orchard  Of daisies and lilies  Marigolds and orchids  And Oh! There in lay roses too  But yellow butterfly   The resident of black ice  Couldn't handle it all  It went from flower to flower  But sucked no nectar  Daisy smiled its daisy smile  And Sunflower ignored the Sun  But yellow butterfly  Proud and tall Kept on flying above them all  Orchids being orchids  Proud and substantial  Turned themselves away At being approached by the yellow butterfly   "That hurts!" exclaimed he  And so he started playing  With every other flower  Teasing and touching  Marigolds and lilies  White, pink, orange  Even the purple calendulas  Then his eyes stopped on the red rose! Those gentle gentle eyes on  The passionate red rose  And the red rose glanced back  Smiling its fiery smile  That took yellow butterfly's heart away.  It

With all its stars, shooting stars,  Black holes and worm holes,  Rocks, ice, ions and space,  Sand fire and sound,  Light, life and air,  Colours and dimensions,  One missing centre  And absolutely nothingness;  Except for his heart  and that of my own,  The Universe is inside me.  ***

I took out the crisp orange bedsheet And began unfolding when suddenly  Your lighter fell out on the floor  And I stooped to pick it up but couldn't.    I  stooped to pick it up but couldn't.  So, I kicked hard an d slept; Knowing th at I have your lighter under my bed.  Tonight you may burn me once again; Tomorrow I will rise from the ashes.  ***